It wasn't as if she had been expecting them to show up or anything.
It didn't matter to Laeli at all. From the start, she knew that something would have... would have caused her parents to be late.
"Laeli... it's past eleven now...you should get some sleep."
"I'm not tired currently, you sleep first."
"Maybe it was traffic? Or something happened at the airport."
"Yes. They were probably held up."
"The nurse has come in four times already to see if you were ready to sleep."
"I'm not tired."
She had wanted so badly to know that she was still cared about.
So badly.
"There's most likely a very good reason... But there's no point in waiting up for your parents for so long."
"I just..."
"If you sleep now, you'll be able to greet them with energy if they come tomorrow!"
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah! If they couldn't come today, then they'll definitely be coming tomorrow!"
There was no way.
She had thought that perhaps her father held some sentiment for her--his only daughter. But, her father was not a soft man. If she had fallen, she had fallen because she was weak. He would hold no pity. If he cancelled this visit... then it probably meant that Laeli was being given up on. She... she was just another seed that failed to grow.
"I'm... Matt, I..."
"What's wrong?"
"They won't come back tomorrow."
"Eh? Why?"
Laeli took a deep breath to calm herself.
"I've been thrown away. That's all." Her voice was surprisingly controlled, and sounded cold even to Laeli.
"Thrown away? Don't be ridiculous! How could someone throw away such a lov--"
"Why am I trying so hard, Matt? Tell me."
"D-don't cry, it's not..."
"Why am I trying so hard to live, Matt?" Laeli looked up, the tears falling freely from her eyes. "When they've given up?"
Her frantic eyes fell on the glass of water at her bedside. Beside the glass, the nurse had carefully placed two pills, her nightly life insurance. Laeli couldn't understand why, but she felt so much hate for those small capsules at that moment. Those two pills represented all the reasons she had lost favor with the family... with her father. Her own father!
In a burst of rage, she suddenly swiped at the pills, wishing to destroy their existence. Her wild movement caused the glass to tip and fall, shattering when it came in contact with the tiled floor. The sound resounded around the room with a bang.
"What's going on here?!" The nurse ran into the room at the sound. Her eyes fell upon the Laeli, out of breath and crying. The nurse's eyes softened, "We're going to need you to calm down, Laeli."
"I am calm." The girl took a few deep breaths, forcing herself to stop crying. Tears were unfitting to a person of her social standing. She had to be calm. Be composed. Be cold.
The nurse kneeled down, holding on to the girl gently. "Laeli, I need you to take your pills and go to sleep now."
"What's the point, Miss Nurse? If my father doesn't even care about my life, who am I living for?"
"I can't answer that for you."
"Then let me go."
"I can't do that. Now, your pills--"
"Please, just let me go. I'm useless here anyways."
"Laeli, please just!"
Laeli turned to Matt, surprised at his sudden outburst.
"What? Just what?"
"Why can't you see how much your life is worth?" He seemed genuinely angry. "Why? When other people have to fight to survive, why are you so ready to give yours up? Do you know? Can you even understand what's its like? To fight?"
"It's my privilege."
"What?"
"My privilege."
"You... you!"
"Let me ask you." She pushed the nurse out of the way so she could speak the words directly at her roommate. "Do you know what it's like to be targeted by your own family? Can you even begin to feel the fear of being assassinated at night? Hiding behind bodyguards? How about wearing bullet-proof shirts all the time? Hm? I... I couldn't even attend a normal school, for fear that someone would attack me there. I would think that I should at least have the right to die when I wanted to."
"Hopelessness. Do you know that feeling? Having to know you're dying, but can't do a thing about it?" Matt's words came out in a tumble, his thoughts seemed unorganized, messy. "Of course not. You've always had money on your side, haven't you? You're nothing else then a rich pampered girl who feels the need to--"
He stopped.
Matt looked as if he realized he had gone too far.
"...I guess you're right. I am a rich pampered girl."
"Laeli, I..."
"Go on, continue. What? I feel the need to do what?"
"I went overboard. I'm sorry. I know about your family's situation and I..."
"It's fine."
"It's not fine! I... I just completely..."
"I'm used to it. You're not the first to say something like that to me, you know."
"I just didn't want you to give up!"
Laeli sighed.
It would be a pity to die, she supposed, at that very moment. It had been nice, being in an atmosphere where she wasn't being compared to other people. She had had amusing conversations with Matt, and there were many other things she still wanted to discuss.
In addition, she even hadn't finished A Midsummer Night's Dream yet.
There were things that had to be accomplished before Laeli could allow herself to die. Giving up when the situation was bleak...
How pathetic. Needing someone to remind her that giving up was wrong... such a dependance was also not befitting to a lady.
"I see. I'll make you take responsibility then, Matt."
"W-what?"
"I won't give up yet. I'll live just a little bit more. For you, since you seem to care so much." She took the pills from the outstretched hands of the nurse, swallowing them deftly. "So take responsibility for this."
"When you put it that way..." Matt's dark expression brightened, and he smiled, "of course I can't refuse."
So ended day 14.
It didn't matter to Laeli at all. From the start, she knew that something would have... would have caused her parents to be late.
"Laeli... it's past eleven now...you should get some sleep."
"I'm not tired currently, you sleep first."
"Maybe it was traffic? Or something happened at the airport."
"Yes. They were probably held up."
"The nurse has come in four times already to see if you were ready to sleep."
"I'm not tired."
She had wanted so badly to know that she was still cared about.
So badly.
"There's most likely a very good reason... But there's no point in waiting up for your parents for so long."
"I just..."
"If you sleep now, you'll be able to greet them with energy if they come tomorrow!"
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah! If they couldn't come today, then they'll definitely be coming tomorrow!"
There was no way.
She had thought that perhaps her father held some sentiment for her--his only daughter. But, her father was not a soft man. If she had fallen, she had fallen because she was weak. He would hold no pity. If he cancelled this visit... then it probably meant that Laeli was being given up on. She... she was just another seed that failed to grow.
"I'm... Matt, I..."
"What's wrong?"
"They won't come back tomorrow."
"Eh? Why?"
Laeli took a deep breath to calm herself.
"I've been thrown away. That's all." Her voice was surprisingly controlled, and sounded cold even to Laeli.
"Thrown away? Don't be ridiculous! How could someone throw away such a lov--"
"Why am I trying so hard, Matt? Tell me."
"D-don't cry, it's not..."
"Why am I trying so hard to live, Matt?" Laeli looked up, the tears falling freely from her eyes. "When they've given up?"
Her frantic eyes fell on the glass of water at her bedside. Beside the glass, the nurse had carefully placed two pills, her nightly life insurance. Laeli couldn't understand why, but she felt so much hate for those small capsules at that moment. Those two pills represented all the reasons she had lost favor with the family... with her father. Her own father!
In a burst of rage, she suddenly swiped at the pills, wishing to destroy their existence. Her wild movement caused the glass to tip and fall, shattering when it came in contact with the tiled floor. The sound resounded around the room with a bang.
"What's going on here?!" The nurse ran into the room at the sound. Her eyes fell upon the Laeli, out of breath and crying. The nurse's eyes softened, "We're going to need you to calm down, Laeli."
"I am calm." The girl took a few deep breaths, forcing herself to stop crying. Tears were unfitting to a person of her social standing. She had to be calm. Be composed. Be cold.
The nurse kneeled down, holding on to the girl gently. "Laeli, I need you to take your pills and go to sleep now."
"What's the point, Miss Nurse? If my father doesn't even care about my life, who am I living for?"
"I can't answer that for you."
"Then let me go."
"I can't do that. Now, your pills--"
"Please, just let me go. I'm useless here anyways."
"Laeli, please just!"
Laeli turned to Matt, surprised at his sudden outburst.
"What? Just what?"
"Why can't you see how much your life is worth?" He seemed genuinely angry. "Why? When other people have to fight to survive, why are you so ready to give yours up? Do you know? Can you even understand what's its like? To fight?"
"It's my privilege."
"What?"
"My privilege."
"You... you!"
"Let me ask you." She pushed the nurse out of the way so she could speak the words directly at her roommate. "Do you know what it's like to be targeted by your own family? Can you even begin to feel the fear of being assassinated at night? Hiding behind bodyguards? How about wearing bullet-proof shirts all the time? Hm? I... I couldn't even attend a normal school, for fear that someone would attack me there. I would think that I should at least have the right to die when I wanted to."
"Hopelessness. Do you know that feeling? Having to know you're dying, but can't do a thing about it?" Matt's words came out in a tumble, his thoughts seemed unorganized, messy. "Of course not. You've always had money on your side, haven't you? You're nothing else then a rich pampered girl who feels the need to--"
He stopped.
Matt looked as if he realized he had gone too far.
"...I guess you're right. I am a rich pampered girl."
"Laeli, I..."
"Go on, continue. What? I feel the need to do what?"
"I went overboard. I'm sorry. I know about your family's situation and I..."
"It's fine."
"It's not fine! I... I just completely..."
"I'm used to it. You're not the first to say something like that to me, you know."
"I just didn't want you to give up!"
Laeli sighed.
It would be a pity to die, she supposed, at that very moment. It had been nice, being in an atmosphere where she wasn't being compared to other people. She had had amusing conversations with Matt, and there were many other things she still wanted to discuss.
In addition, she even hadn't finished A Midsummer Night's Dream yet.
There were things that had to be accomplished before Laeli could allow herself to die. Giving up when the situation was bleak...
How pathetic. Needing someone to remind her that giving up was wrong... such a dependance was also not befitting to a lady.
"I see. I'll make you take responsibility then, Matt."
"W-what?"
"I won't give up yet. I'll live just a little bit more. For you, since you seem to care so much." She took the pills from the outstretched hands of the nurse, swallowing them deftly. "So take responsibility for this."
"When you put it that way..." Matt's dark expression brightened, and he smiled, "of course I can't refuse."
So ended day 14.
Last edited by Sophie on August 5th 2011, 9:15 pm; edited 2 times in total
THERE WE GO! I know this smiley face doesn't work for it, but there we go.