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Welcome to Paper Pen!

Whether you're here to procrastinate, or here to study, we hope that you'll have a great time here. This forum is geared towards the class of 2013 at IAE, and hopefully will be helpful to the poor juniors as they trek through their hardest year of high school.<br>Thank you for being a part of this forum and helping it grow.<br>2013 GO!

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International Academy. 2013. We're so cool everyone. :)

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    Day 18. Learning to Converse

    Sophie
    Sophie


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    Day 18. Learning to Converse Empty Day 18. Learning to Converse

    Post by Sophie July 21st 2011, 6:14 pm

    "A rose by any other name is still just as sweet..." Laeli murmured aloud, remembering her favorite phrase in the book.
    "Hmm?"
    "Nothing."

    The steely silence between them hung like the heavy air before a storm. Fidgeting with the TV remote, and sometimes casting a supposedly secret glance over at Laeli, Matt looked eager to have a conversation.

    Finally, tired of his restlessness, Laeli sighed. She'd talk to him, if that was what he so desperately wanted.
    “Why are you in the hospital? You look fine.”
    “For now...”
    “...What?”
    “Oh, sorry. I’ve got some sort of virus. It... how can I put it...” He fidgeted, looking visibly uncomfortable. “Um...”
    “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” There. She had done her part. Now Matt could stop feeling as if she was deliberately ignoring him. She returned to her book. Juliet was now calling for her beloved from her balcony.

    “Ah! You’re reading Romeo and Juliet!”
    “...Yes...?”
    “It...we read it in class too.”
    “That's nice.”

    Silence.

    “...do you like Shakespeare?”
    “A fair amount.”

    A bit more silence.

    "You don't like talking much, do you?"
    "What gave that away?"
    "Wow... harsh too."
    "It's part of my nature. I apologize."
    "Well, talking to other people is part of my nature, so I suppose I should apologize too. But..." He grinned, "I won't! I bet you're a really interesting person! We should get to know each other better."
    "I'm not interesting."
    "What kind of normal person reads Shakespeare?"
    "I--" Laeli sighed, putting the book down. "Alright, what do you want to know?"
    "Nothing much, just your numbers..." He grinned coyly.
    "My numbers?"
    "The way I see it, you look like a 34-22-3-- Woah!" He was interrupted by a flying book aimed towards his face. "So you can get angry t--"
    "You... you oaf!" Laeli's face blossomed with red color, and she was panting slightly by the effort exerted to hurl the book at the insulting boy. "What kind of introduction is that?"
    "At least you responded!"
    "Are all boys your age so immature?"
    "Hehe, I don't know~ Well, was I close?"
    "How would I know? I don't pay attention to stuff like that."
    "You poor girl! Haven't you ever gone shopping?"
    "Of course n--" She paused. Of course not. She had never gone shopping, her mother bought all her tailored and ironed dresses and blouses for her. Laeli had never been able to find the stiff cotton clothing comfortable, and had been berated once for trying to wear a t-shirt out of the house.

    So unladylike. So unlike your brothers, useless child.

    Laeli could almost see her mother's carefully penciled eyebrows raise in a condescending glare.

    "Ah... that was a bit insensitive of me. I'm sorry."
    "No... it's fine. I... I'm just not good at talking to other people."
    "Well then, let's work to change that, shall we?"

    The time passed quickly, and Laeli grew to like her new 'roommate.' He was funny, and turned out to be quite nice, despite his original first impression.

    "So it seems you've made a new friend." The nurse smiled, finishing up Laeli's nightly checkup.
    "Maybe." She replied, turning her head to look at the sleeping figure on the bed next to hers. The presence of another person in the room made her heart flutter a bit. Not from the electrical pulses from her pacemaker--it felt different.

    Wishing the nurse good night in tired tones, Laeli closed her eyes. For once, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to wake up tomorrow.

    So ended day 18.


    Last edited by Sophie on August 15th 2011, 12:27 am; edited 2 times in total
    iKevinly
    iKevinly
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    Posts : 375
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    Day 18. Learning to Converse Empty Re: Day 18. Learning to Converse

    Post by iKevinly July 22nd 2011, 2:39 am

    EEEEEEEEEEEW T_T
    THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR PERFECT WRITING THAT MAKES ME GO.
    "Wow."
    D: And makes me jealous and lowers my self-esteem >_>"
    STOP IT. :)

    I really like this to be honest~ It may just be your writing but I just like the attitude of Laeli so much and the way you describe her and the silence that happens from the littlest of words. It's really. . . realistic to be honest!
    :x Personally, if it was me, I felt that Laeli changed a bit too fast for my preference after "Well, there was this one time..."
    It just seemed to me that her character, as a whole, had changed and didn't follow my expectations but I still love the characters none the less :D!

    ALSO D: WHAT ARE NUMBERS?
    I DONT GET IT.
    Sophie
    Sophie


    Posts : 455
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    Day 18. Learning to Converse Empty Re: Day 18. Learning to Converse

    Post by Sophie July 22nd 2011, 11:25 pm

    Numbers? The bust, waist, and hip measurements for a girl!
    (Is it odd that I know this? 🆗 )

    Anyhow, I changed the wording a bit. How is it now?
    Thanks for the encouragement. You're something of a writing genius yourself!
    iKevinly
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    Day 18. Learning to Converse Empty Re: Day 18. Learning to Converse

    Post by iKevinly July 23rd 2011, 12:42 am

    Yes yes yes! =) I LOVE the change right now! Especially, I don't know why I love it, but especially when you said,
    ["Of course n--" She paused. Of course not.]
    For some reason, that little sentence really gets a connection coming across from Laeli to the reader.
    I always try to aim for that and have my stories go into the character's mind without it making too much of a "Let me tell you what they think."

    :) I like it!
    Thanks for changing it.

    KEEP IT UP.
    I love it :)

    ~Kev

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