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    Day 15. Past

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    Sophie

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    Day 15. Past

    Post by Sophie on August 3rd 2011, 8:59 pm

    “Laeli, good news.”
    “Hmm?” The girl in question looked up from her copy of A Midsummer Nights Dream. She had finished reading Romeo and Juliet, and was moving on to... happier literature.
    “Mister and Madam Legrandia just called, they said that they’re planning on visiting you tomorrow.”
    “Oh. That’s nice. Thanks for notifying me.”
    The nurse smiled. “It’s okay to be a little excited. You don’t have to hide your smile.”
    Laeli only held the book up higher, to cover her expression.

    Though she was completely useless in her current state, the fact that her parents were visiting her meant that they still valued her. She wasn't being given up on yet. At least not by her father.

    “Wow, your parents are visiting? That’s great news!”
    “Yeah, they haven’t visited once since I was hospitalized. But, that’s probably because they were too busy. My parents are big corporate CEOs, you know.”
    “I see.”
    “Even though they pretend not to care, I remember once, they bought out Disney World for a day to host my seventh birthday party.”
    “What?! That’s insane! You’re so lucky!”
    “I... I suppose so.”

    But, reflecting on her parent's motives at the time... Laeli didn't really think she had been lucky. All Laeli had wanted was to have a small party with a few of her friends and her family. Disney World had simply been another way for her parents to boast their power. The media had gone crazy, calling the Legrandias 'future rulers' and 'billionaires of the billionaires.'

    They hadn't been completely wrong, though. Her family was incredibly rich, and incredibly powerful. But, the Legrandia family was not just a single family. It was composed of tens of multiple families, all loosely connected through the bloodline. Her father was the current head, though competition was slowly but surely pushing him out of his position. It was only natural then, that the following generation would compete to take that position at the top.

    From her birth, she had been but a tiny seed amidst the piles and piles of potential candidates to the Legrandia fortune. She had to struggle to grow, to crowd out the other seeds. In her climb up, Laeli couldn’t even remember how many half-brothers and distant sisters she ruined. Fate was so cruel--ruining her future the same way she ruined the futures of her siblings.

    It had been but car accident, as her half-mother had brazenly stated to the media.

    “A dreadful, dreadful car accident. My condolences, Laeli. It seems as though you’ll be unable to continue your studies.”

    Car accident. A car accident so precisely timed that Laeli would have had to wait a full half hour for help to arrive? A car accident so accurate that the entire back half of the limousine had been torn off? The back half where Laeli just so happened to sit every time?

    Thankfully, she had not been sitting in the back of the limousine at the time. An uneasy feeling had made Laeli demand the seat next to her chauffeur. Still, the explosion was enough to hospitalize the girl with multiple internal injuries.

    However, what stung the most was the smile on the witch’s face as the half-mother signed the intensive care admission form. Glee had filled her features as she told the doctors not to try too hard to keep Laeli alive.

    “It looks too serious to be mended. Even if the girl managed to recover, she’s far too behind now to catch up with her siblings. It’s better for her to just surrender herself to fate.”

    "Hey, what's with the dark look on your face?" Matt cheerful voice knocked Laeli out of her reverie.
    "A-ah? Nothing. I was just remembering something unpleasant."
    "Why are you doing that now? You should be happy!"
    "I am happy."
    "That's good then. So tomorrow, we'll greet your parents with big smiles, 'kaaaay?"

    Laeli almost laughed at the absurdity of that suggestion.
    Big smiles? She had never shown any expression other then subserviency.

    "Alright. But, I doubt you'll be able to hold that same conviction when you see them in person tomorrow."

    So ended day 15.


    Last edited by Sophie on August 4th 2011, 11:57 am; edited 2 times in total


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    iKevinly
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    Re: Day 15. Past

    Post by iKevinly on August 4th 2011, 2:26 am

    Again, I love love LOVE your writing style and how . . . Soothingly amazing it is.
    I didn't really see any errors and it just . . . Flows. You have naturally great writing!

    There isn't much for me to criticize here although I'm trying to act like Ben Folds (judge on Sing-Off) cause I've been watching a lot of episodes of the Sing-Off and love the way he judges.

    I honestly love the simplicity as well as the characterization.

    I'm a bit, though, confused on Laeli at this moment in time. I keep imagining her as a person who is still cynical about life in general. Personally for me, the change of her smiling at the thought of her parents coming is. . . A twist in my mind.

    You explain it nicely and it's probably just me but I just feel as if Laeli's changing really fast :P

    Anyways!!

    GREAT Chapter :)
    D: It's. . . sad how the family is so competitive DX!!


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    Sophie

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    Re: Day 15. Past

    Post by Sophie on August 4th 2011, 11:55 am

    Hmm, yeah, I see how someone could get that impression...

    How is it now?

    (And thanks~ Hee. Hee hee. )


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    Re: Day 15. Past

    Post by iKevinly on August 4th 2011, 2:45 pm

    =] Ahahah "Billionaires of Billionaires" XD AHHH! I love that. :)
    Again, me thinking that Laeli is changing is probably just a personal preference :D But I do like how you added that extra bit about Disney World just being for power and fame. !! Keep it up :)


    _________________
    One peaceful, beautiful day,
    Everyone will smile,
    And everyone will be happy in the world,
    And I will be engulfed with No Alarms and No Surprises.
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    Sophie

    Posts : 455
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    Join date : 2011-07-17
    Age : 22
    Location : Behind you.

    Re: Day 15. Past

    Post by Sophie on August 4th 2011, 8:43 pm

    I'm having a bit of difficulty in figuring out how fast Laeli has to develop.
    I don't want her to sound too mopey, but I don't want her to have a sudden personality shift either.
    So your comments are really helpful in letting me figure out the correct pace.

    Thanks~


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    iKevinly
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    Re: Day 15. Past

    Post by iKevinly on August 4th 2011, 9:01 pm

    Oh god phew x_x I don't know. . Sometimes I'm afraid you'll just, randomly, change the whole chapter because of what I'm saying. Your writing is still excellent but that's good to know that you're aiming to find out the pacing in this since it is difficult.


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    One peaceful, beautiful day,
    Everyone will smile,
    And everyone will be happy in the world,
    And I will be engulfed with No Alarms and No Surprises.

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